A life we could never lead
by DreamBoats-and-Petticoats
Summary: when Hermione is left heart broken, who is left to pick up the pieces? Draco/Hermione


Draco was walking through the library when he spotted Hermione. She had her back to him, but he could tell that she was crying, again. "Granger, whats wrong?"

"Oh shove off Malfoy!" she barked as she pushed her way out of her chair and tried to barge past him. she didn't want to deal with Malfoy's put his hand on her shoulder to stop her, in reply to this she shot him a warning glare. "Hey!, I'm just trying to be nice. Whats wrong."

"Why should you care?" she whined. but secretly, she was glad he was talking to her - and not just because she needed someone to talk to.

"Because this is the third time this week i've seen you crying.". At these words, Hermione gave up and collapsed back into her chair. "It's Ron..." Hermione continued to tell him about Ron and Lavender Brown. As she continued through the story she became more and more hysterical.

"Shh. Its okay." Draco started rubbing comforting circles on Hermiones back. She looked up at him, tears still in her eyes. she managed to give a small smile and whispered a tiny "thanks.."

"No problem." Draco wiped her tears away. Hermione shivered when his palm touched her cheek...maybe she had been wrong about Draco Malfoy...maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" he suggested.

"That...that would be really nice"

"Lets go." Draco pulled Hermione up to stand. She felt a huge grin spread across her lips as they wandered away from the library

"So what do you like to do?" Draco asked, trying to make small talk.

"Study, mostly" she replied.

"Why?" He seemed genuinely stunned.

"Well what else is there really?" she laughed.

"Sneak around. Break rules." a sly smile crept across his face.

"No, no way. I'd get caught, better to keep my head down."

"I think your smart enough not to. Wait I know it "

Hermione was speechless - he was really being nice to her. It wasn't some joke to make her seem foolish...he was nice...

"Crookshanks got your tounge?" His joke cut through her thoughts. She didn't understand why being with Draco seemed so natural.

"Hah!" she jokingly nudged him in the side, causing him to stumble slightly.

"Still got the same strength as third year I see." Draco smiled. Hermione blushed at the memory of punching him in the face. A memory that used to give her pleasure, now caused a guilty knot in her stomach.

"Oh yeah, um...sorry...about that by the way" she stuttered.

"Dont be. I - deserved it." He was staring at his feet. Hermione never imagined she'd be hearing him say that he deserved being hit in the face. She never imagined apologising for it either. They had been so wrapped up in their conversation they hadn't been paying attention to where they were stopped, looked around and said "Where do you wanna go?"

"Anywhere as lo-" she cut herself off before saying the rest. She almost said "as long as i'm with you".

"I have an idea. come on." Draco grabbed Hermione's hand and dragged her towards the Quidditch pitch.

"Where are we going!?" she squealed excitedly as she jogged to keep winked at her

"It's a surprise". She usually didn't like surprises...but then again ...she thought she didn't like Draco till an hour ago.

"Okay. I know you hate brooms but give one a try. Please." Draco rans and grabbed his broom.

"We're going to fly?" she sighed. But she went along with it. It was time to try something new for a change.

"Yep. I promise I wont let you fall."

"You better not" she teased

"I wont." Draco put Hermione on the broom and slid on behind her.

"Ready?"

She shivered through fear and adrenaline "as i'll ever be."

Draco put his arms on either side of her. "Nothing bad will happen."

She smiled and placed her hand on top of Draco's - "I...I trust you"

"Good." Draco kicked off and soared into the sky with Hermione clutching his hand. Hermione screamed as they took off into the air. She gripped Draco's arm tight till she began to relax slightly. before she knew it, she was laughing and really enjoying herself.

"I knew you would love it." He reassured her. And the funny thing was - she did love it. She loved doing something different. Something with him.

"You seem to know me quite well, then"

He grinned a her. "I make it my buisness too." She gazed into his eyes, she couldn't remember the last time she'd had this much fun. Draco flew across the lake on the far side and landed. Hermione was still shaking from the rush as she sat on the grass next to the sat next to her.

"How was that?"

"It..it was bloody fantastic!" she exclaimed.

Draco laughed at her remark. "I'm glad you thought so!". She looked out over the lake. She really was feeling much better now. For a minuite neither of them spoke. Hermione was the one to break the silence.

"Draco - i'm confused."

"What about?" he replied - his face had changed and he now looked worried.

"Because..well up untill now we always acted as if we hated each other. Why now...why the change?"

Draco sighed. "I - I - oh forget it. I have to go" Draco stood up and stormed in the opposte direction.

"Draco...Draco where are you going?" He had picked up his broom and was making his way to the broom shed. He ignored her calling after him."Draco!" she was desperate now. "What's wrong?!"

"Hermione - Just leave it. Go away. I can't talk to you" He sounded furious and upset at the same time.

"Why?! why? we've had a great time together - I didn't mean to upset you" Draco and thrown his broom back in the shed and shoved past never replied to her as her stormed his way up to the castle.

Two weeks had passed since Draco and Hermione had spent their afternoon together. And she was still as confused as ever as to why he ended it the way her did. Potions and Transfiguration were the only classes they had together and while she was doing everything to get his attention, he was doing everything he could to avoid her. But she'd had enough. She waited untill the Slytherin quidditch team had finished training to talk to him. He always put his broom away last and they would be able to speak privately. Also, there would be no way he could ignore her. She watched as the other players left the pitch untill she saw him heading to put away his marched towards him and shouted "Draco! I need to talk to you!" she saw the shock on his face when he saw her coming towards him, but he simply looked the other way without saying another word."DRACO MALFOY. DON'T JUST IGNORE ME!" she was getting angrier by the minuite.

"Hermione I told you to leave me alone! I told you - I can't talk to you!"

"Why not?! give me one good reason why you can't talk to me." Had he used her? Had he strung her along? Was she really so stupid to have made herself think that maybe he was nice. That he genuinely liked her? He was walking away from her again. She couldn't take it much longer. "I HATE YOU!" she screamed. She saw him stopping he turned his head to look at her. She had hurt him. That had hurt him. Now he had turned completely on his heels and was heading straight for her - what abuse was she about to get? Filthy Mudblood? Nerd? well whatever it was she would give as good as she go-Her thoughts were interrupted when he said

"Did you mean that?!" he asked. "Well! Did you?"

She could feel herself starting to cry. The tears were sitting heavy in her eyes. "No" she whispered "No, of course not"

"I can't do this" he said, not moving from the spot he was standing on.

"Do what?" Hermione asked, confused

"I just - I can't stay away from you." Right then he placed both hands either side of her face and kissed her. When his lips touched hers, she could swear they were flying. No-one else existed except the two of them. All her anger and confusion was melting away. A warm feeling filled her stomach as she wrapped her arms around his waist. They pulled apart and he rested his forehead on hers. Her breathing had sped up and she felt all dizzy. "I'm - I'm sorry" Draco said, taking a step backwards. He looked as shocked as she was at what he'd just done. "I shouldn't - I shouldn't have done that" he was shaking his head and muttering. Hermione took a step towards him and lifted his chin with her finger untill he was looking straight into her eyes.

"Why not?" she said as she softly kissed his lips.

Hermione sat in the Gryffindor common room looking through her charms notes. She was reading the words but her mind wasn't in the room. She must have read the paragraph on sheild charms about four times and she still couldn't tell you much about them. All she could think about was Draco Malfoy. They had arranged to meet in the astronomy tower at midnight - breaking about 10 school rules doing so. But Hermione didn't care. For the chance to be with him again - she would do anything. She glanced at the time. 11:57. She left her charms notes on the table and made her way through the portrait hole. As Hermione wandered the corridors she felt as if she was in a dream. Like she would get to the astronomy tower and he wouldn't be there. The very thought struck fear straight to her core, filling her with an ice cold shiver. What if he had changed his mind again? No, no he wouldn't. He wouldn't just leave her. He was better than that. She ducked and dived behind statues and suits of armour - narrowly avoiding Mrs Norris several times. She reached the stairway to the astronomy tower and - unable to take the suspense any longer - she climbed the stairs as fast as she could and burst through the door into cold night air. But it wasn't the stars in the ink black sky, or the moonlight creating a silver ribbon across the dark lake, or even the beautiful sight of the castle that took her breath away - it was him. He was there. As she closed the door he turned so face her and a smile errupted from his face.

"Hey" he whispered, taking a step towards her.

"Hi" she replied, feeling herself smiling took her in his arms and she rested her head on his shoulder. They remained in this simple embrace for a few minuites - then Hermione stepped back.

"So...what happens now?"

"Well - umm..." Draco didn't know how to reply. A cold wind blew making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He just wanted to go back to when he was holding her. "What do you - what do you want to happen?"

"I don't think we should tell people - not yet any way" it wasn't that she was ashamed - i mean why should she be? She just didn't want to provoke bullies and teasing throughout the school. She was scared that if people started teasing him about her being muggle born - he wouldn't want to be with her anymore. She just didn't want to loose him.

He took her hand "Anything for my girl" he promised. She felt her cheeks burning red. He had called her his girl. HIS girl. She hopped up onto her tip-toes and kissed him. It was exactly like it was on the quidditch pitch. She felt as if her head was spinning and they we're high above the castle - soaring into the night sky. She tangled her fingers through his and held on tightly. She felt him pull away and it was as if she floated back onto the astronomy tower. They stood for a moment, transfixed to the spot unable to avert their gaze from each others eyes. Draco kept a tight hold her hand and they leaned out over the tower. It really was the perfect night.

The next few months were a blur of sneaky note passing and secret meetings in the broom shed, the astronomy tower and the library. Hermione would make up excuses to leave the common room late at night and always finished lunch as quickly as possible and would then disappear to "study". One time she even swallowed a puking pastle in order to get out of class early. For Hermione - everything was perfect. And she even thought she might be beginning to fall in love with Draco Malfoy.

"What do you think you're playing at?" Snape demanded as he confronted Draco in the empty corridor on the 7th floor. "Do you have any idea how stupid you are being? You are in no postition to be getting involved with muggle borns!"

Draco was furious. He had no idea how Snape had found out about Hermione, but her had, and he wasn't happy. "What does it matter to you?" Draco shot back.

"How am I supposed to protect you when you're so intent on getting yourself - and your family for that matter - killed?!"

A smirk crossed Draco's face at this statement. "I don't need your - protection - proffesor"

"I made an unbreakable vow to your mother, you ungrateful fool!" Snapes voice was getting more and more threatening with every word.

This took Draco aback. His mother had enlisted the help of Severus Snape of all people? "Well, even so, you can't make me end this." He was determined not to let Hermione go without a fight. "I- I think I might love her..." he muttered looking sheepishly at the floor.

"Oh for goodness sake - pull yourself together!" but this information gave Snape the advantage. "If you do - love her - as you say, surely you would want to protect her?" Snape asked.

"Well..well yes of course, but what has that got to do with anything?". Draco asked, now he was confused.

"So do you think it's wise to bring her closer to you and your family - considering the position you are in concerning You-Know-Who?" Snapes question hit Draco like a wall. Of course, by being with him, she was in danger. "And if you take into consideration her - blood status - not much mercy will be shown" That was it. Snape had made his point. It had to be over. They couldn't be together - not if he wanted her to be safe.

"What...what do I do?" Drace struggled to get out the words. "Oh i think you already know the answer to that" Snape sneered. And just like that Snape was gone - his black cloak swishing behind him - and Draco was left stunned and hurt by what he had to do.

Hermione ran to the astronomy tower as fast as she could. Draco's message had seemed important and they usually didn't meet on Thursday nights. She was right to be worried. As she reached the astronomy tower she knew something had happened. Something very bad. He had his back to her and as he turned she could see that he look as if he was about to cry. She was really starting to get scared now.

"Draco - what is it? what's happened?" she reached out to him and took his hand. He was shaking like a leaf and his hand was ice cold.

"I'm in trouble, Hermione. Big trouble" he said. He was like a statue. His face fear stricken and distraught.

"Tell me, I'll help.." She started but was interupted when he said.

"No, no you can't. It's - it's to do with You-Know-Who" Draco dropped her hand and leaned over the side of the tower.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"My family - you know that they were involved with him before. Only now they've started to pull away from him - it's - it's not safe to be around me Hermione - not in the position i'm in". Draco had stepped close to her and put his hand on her cheek.

"You have to uderstand..." Draco began, but it was Hermione's turn to do the interupting.

"No - NO! we are not breaking up over this! NO!" she stepped back from him and looked in disbelief. "Please" she whispered.

"I'm not talking about breaking up..."

"Oh thank goodness" Hermione began.

"Let me finish! You can't be around me - and you can't - you can't remember any of this - of us. It's not safe" A large knot had formed in his throat as he truely took in what he'd just said. But there was nothing he could do. If worst came to worst the Malfoy's may have to go into hiding. She could be hurt...used as bait to draw him out...even tortured for information...no, he wouldn't have it.

"Draco...no, no there must be another way! I can look after myself - you don't have to..." She coudn't finish her sentence, because as she said it, she realised he was right. Not only was it dangerous for her to be with him, if it got out he was with a muggle born - he was in even more danger. The tears welled up and stung her eyes. She threw her arms around him and sobbed into his chest. Draco rested his head on top of hers and he could feel himself starting to cry. He was losing her. It was all going to disappear. Hermione stepped back and dried her tears on her sleeve.

"You know what? No - we can do something else - run away - disappear" Her suggestions were desperate and even she knew that if they were wanted, they would be caught. Draco stood back and brought out his wand.

"You have to understand! This needs to be done! I have to protect you Hermione -" He paused, drew in a breath, looked her in the eyes and said "I love you."

Her tears were uncontrollable now. She wiped her eyes once again and looked up into his sad, distressed face. "I love you,too - nothing could ever make me forget."

Draco raised his wand. Hermione stood on the spot, eyes closed repeating the words "Never forget, never forget, never forget, never forget..."

"Obliviate."

She never remembered those months they spent together. She went back to hating him. He tried to keep up the act of hating her back - but he would have given anything for her to love him her everyday was torture. Every so often he would sit in the astronomy tower, the broom shed or the library and think about how happy they had been. He half expected her to wake up one morning, remember everything and come back to him. But of course, she never did.

It was her. It had always been her. But he never truely knew this untill she was gone.


End file.
